Who runs the world?

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Who really runs the world?

I know Beyonce sang that girls run the world but since she isn’t the official authority on World Running Affairs, please indulge me for a few minutes while I share my thoughts with you.

Today, I want to talk about a certain feminist mindset or School of thought if you may, that have taken the quote “what a man can do, a woman can do better and in heels”, to an extreme.

A strong black lady

In my last post You’re Single. So what?  , I briefly brushed through this topic hoping to get into details on a later date. So here I am with the details.

First things first

Firstly, I want to start by saying that I am a Christian. Not by religion but a born again Child of God. The word of God is my only truth. So as I share my thoughts with you, expect to see some references from the bible, which I believe if anyone adheres to, always yields positive results. Always!

That been said, let’s get back to this school of thought which in some ways I believe is erroneous.

I used to be a firm believer in the “what a man can do, a woman can do better” quote, especially when I was an up and coming feminist; more power to women and all that stuff.

bejeweled hand making a fist

Also, the aforementioned quote sounded like a really good comeback for “It’s a man’s world” quote. I could sit and argue for hours about why I felt this isn’t a man’s world and why I thought women were superior to men. Well a lot has changed since then.

I’ve grown, I’ve studied books, especially my bible and I’ve come to realize the reason why this age long argument about who runs the world, has now turned into a movement.

Difference = Strength

The reason is because men and women do not realize the beauty and power in their individual uniqueness. Each gender has strengths and weaknesses. No one’s strengths outweighs the other’s. It’s like the head looking down on the heart because it doesn’t house the brain or the heart looking down on the brain because it doesn’t pump blood.

A brain and a heart having an argument

 

They are both unique in their structure and functions and they both compliment each other. The brain doesn’t need the heart less than the heart needs it and vice versa.

If both genders can just learn to stay in their lanes, love and appreciate their lanes, then a lot of things won’t be happening in the world as regards gender inequality. For instance, a woman who works as hard as her male colleague in the work place, will earn the same as he does.

And then comes the Feminist extremists

I love my fellow women but there are some sisters who take things too far. Sometimes I just feel like telling them to calm down, it’s not that serious. Being a feminist is okay within certain parameters but when it gets to the extreme, it just gets ugly. The disdain for men just makes these extremists mean spirited.

a mean fat lady

Some even go as far as wanting absolutely nothing to do with men, including not having children with a man. Who needs men afterall when there’s artificial insemination right? But it makes me wonder, if they despise men so much but still want to have babies, where do these feminist extremists think the donor sperm in the sperm bank come from?

President Goodluck Jonathan lost in thougth

 

Some even go as far as saying that God is a woman and I’m like, huh??? I’m not even going to get into that because somethings aren’t worth discussing.

I support the ideology behind women supporting each other but women coming together to form a movement that has no regard for the place of a man in this world. That I do not support.

Then there’s the male chauvinists

I appreciate and respect the role men play in the world and in the home. The innate ability to think logically in addition to other abilities is a huge positive. What I do not support nor care for are men who use these God given abilities as an excuse to be domineering. Who have no regards for women because they believe that women are the “weaker sex”. They love to use 1Peter 3:7 where men are admonished to treat their wives AS UNTO  the “weaker vessel”, as an excuse to act silly and petty. God didn’t call the woman the weaker vessel. If He did He would be contradicting Himself. Most men, on the other hand see women as weaker vessels.

A proud man

Sometimes when I’m driving, and I pack in a spot or back out of a space that would be otherwise challenging for some motorists, I hear some ignorant men make side comments like “na woman dey drive o” because they’re shocked that a woman can be a good driver.

Yes I know that a lot of women in my city are terrible at driving so I can understand their shock but that’s not an excuse to be ignorant.

Another example is on Facebook. My profile picture is one my husband and myself but we were both backing the camera. Sometimes when people post interesting stuff and the comments start coming in, I like to chip in my 2 cents and once in a while most people like my contribution. Now the issue isn’t the fact that they liked what I said, it’s the replies I get. Replies like “good point Sir”, “I agree with you my brother”, and so on. So they like my contribution, probably checkout my profile photo, see a man and a woman and immediately the chauvinist part of their brains takeover, so they assume that it has to be the guy in the photo making all this sense  because only men can make logical sense or discuss politics from an interesting and intelligent perspective right? WRONG!

What’s the real deal behind the term “weaker vessel”? 

This is the reason why it is important to carefully reason through scripture. Not with your human intellect though because that profits nothing when it comes to spiritual things. The Holy Spirit is the one who gives understanding of scripture.

Also it is important to study other translations to help you better interpret the original text.

When God told men to treat their wives AS UNTO the weaker vessel, He didn’t mean our modern day literal interpretation of weak. Like women are too weak to do anything for themselves and they need a man to serve as a support beam. Or when a woman is faced with a challenge, she’ll just break in pieces.

Shattered glass in the shape of a woman's body

That’s not what God meant by weaker vessel.

Delicate but Strong

God meant that women are physically delicate. A woman’s body was created delicate compared to a man’s body. Women were made this way for good reason. A woman’s bones are less dense compared to a man’s bones.

If women didn’t have delicate features, firstly men wouldn’t be attracted to us.

tom singing to a lady cat

Having delicate features has absolutely nothing to do with weakness in the literal sense. Something can be delicate yet unbreakable. The things a woman’s body goes through in her life time, will completely destroy any man because men, though posses harder features, weren’t created for such challenges.

Also being treated AS UNTO the weaker vessel has nothing to do with being intellectually or spiritually weak. That has to do with the individual. All through my school days, girls were always the smartest in class.

Weaker vessel ain’t looking so weak right now

I’ve got some more facts to prove to you that God gave women more strength than they are given credit for.

Infant girls learn faster than infant boys. Girls mature faster than boys. A woman can play the role of a mother and a father simultaneously in her children’s lives. That’s why medical science consider children who have lost their mother, as orphans even if they still have their father. Women are great at multitasking.

a woman multitasking

 

Research has proved that children get over 60% of their intellect from their mothers.

I can go on and on to show you that a woman’s delicate features do not make her a weak person. That’s why the bible says “weak VESSEL” as in CONTAINER, and not “weak person”. Like I said earlier ‘weak’ in that context means delicate.

Take a look at Proverbs 31:10 to the end and see the attributes of God’s ideal woman, a virtuous woman. That sounds nothing like a weak person.

The ones who love to be weak

The unfortunate thing is that men are not the only ones guilty of misunderstanding the term “weak vessel”. A lot of women have also misunderstood this term and their reaction is either on one extreme or the other.

The first extreme perceive it to be an insult, so everything they do is built around proving to themselves and the world, who couldn’t care less by the way, that they aren’t weak. This is one of the driving forces behind extreme feminist movements.

two strong ladies

The second group of women who go to the other extreme, have taken the word “weak” literally and wear it as a badge of honour. They have no desire to be outstanding in anything and are content with mediocrity. Total lack of ambition.

a lazy fat lady

 

They see the state of being a wife and bearing children as an achievement. The truth is it isn’t. This is not a slight on stay at home mothers because raising good kids is actually an achievement and you deserve to be honoured. But getting married and just giving birth to children, aren’t achievements. If they were, in Proverbs 31, God would’ve simply said “the virtuous woman is wife to one husband and has her nest full of children.” The end.

In conclusion…

The point of all I’ve said is, we have created a society where men are constantly trying to put women down and women are going to extremes to prove their worth and to prove that men aren’t worth much.

True strength lies in recognizing our individual uniqueness and knowing how they compliment each other.

Men weren’t created to dominate women. Infact people weren’t created to dominate people, It’s quite clear in Genesis 1:26.

Till next week. That’s all folks. God bless you

 

You’re Single. So what?

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Let’s Talk

If you’re not Nigerian or African, this might not be an issue for you, especially if you live in a more liberal society. On the other hand, if you’re Nigerian and you’re a single guy/lady, pull your chair closer. I want to talk with you

Two ladies sitting and having a conversation

 

SINGLENESS OR BEING SINGLE IS NOT A DISEASE THAT NEEDS TO BE CURED

Lisa Simpson yelling

 

Oops, I’m Sorry. Did I yell that? Probably because I’ve said it so many times and no one seems to be listening.

I live in a society (Nigeria my beloved country), where being single is treated like a stigma. There was a time when parents, uncles, aunties, and friends didn’t mention anything about marriage until the lady is at least 30 years old. For guys it was around 33 and upwards. As time passed, seasons changed, the age for giving or getting the “so you’re still single” stink eye reduced
A group of elderly African women

 

For ladies it came down to 28, 26. Now nobody cares about your age anymore. So long as you have graduated from University, you should be married. Infact you should have an engagement ring on your finger, your certificate in one hand, and your graduation cap and gown on. Guys are also victims of this ignorant cultural mindset but ladies have it worse.

This has led to a generation of young ladies who are constantly under pressure, whether self inflicted or family and friends inflicted. This pressure makes them use up 75% of their creative juices on finding a husband. Some even use as much as 99.5% of their creative juices on this task, the remaining 0.5% is used for eating and breathing.

The worse part is, this desperate manhunt has also led to a generation of arrogant young men, who believe that marrying a lady is an act of benevolence on their part. So they expect the poor ladies to build altars in their honour and whenever they misbehave in the marriage, the ladies should take it without complaining because they pulled them out of the pit called SINGLENESS wherein is no water. Absolute nonsense!

A caveman pulling a lady by her hair

 

The Tough Lady Generation

There’s yet another generation of ladies, who in a bid to push back at the ignorant cultural mindset that sees singleness as a stigma, they have gone to the other extreme. They live by the code “what a man can do, a woman can do better and in heels too” and if you tell them otherwise, they might bite you.

Also, they believe that the world will be a better place without men, Afterall why do they need men? They can have babies without men, they can build roads, build houses, infact they can do all things through Christ who strengthens them (so long as Christ is not a man)

A very muscular lady

 

I don’t subscribe to this school of thought and for very good reasons but that’s a topic for another day.

The purpose of Singleness

Let me tell you what being single means from my understanding. It is a phase of life!

It is not a disease, it is not a pit, it is simply a phase of life.

Life is in phases. When you were born, that was one phase. When you were weaned off breast feeding, that was another phase. Starting school was yet another phase. The thing with life’s phases is, if you take your current phase for granted or fail to take full advantage of it, you are bound to make a mess of the next phase. Every phase you find yourself is a launch pad for the next.

Marriage is a phase of life that only ends in death. That’s the way God meant it to end when He created the institution. Phases come and they pass, but you might wonder how come marriage is a phase but it doesn’t pass as is typical of phases. Well that’s because every other phase in life takes place within the institution of marriage. There are phases in your life that God has orchestrated in a way that will turn out great when you embark on them with a spouse.

I say all this to ask, since you feel that you’re tired of being single and you’re ready to take the next step. Do you believe that you are prepared to go through the other phases of life with a partner? You know it’s one thing when you make all the decisions. You bare all the consequences alone whether good or bad. When someone else is involved, it’s a different ball game. I’m not saying this to scare you rather I say this to prepare you. Afterall you take quality time to prepare for exams that affect  your career. Why do you think that when it comes to something as important as marriage, that can alter your life for good or bad, it’s okay to learn on the job?

Your Single phase is your opportunity to prepare. Marriage is a phase that wouldn’t end till death at a ripe old age (that’s what we pray for.) I’m not saying that preparation for marriage is the sole purpose of your single phase but that’s the subject of this post so keep reading.

an elderly couple hugging

 

Doting the I’s and crossing the T’s

The fact that you’re a good cook doesn’t automatically make you a good husband/wife. You can cook up a storm in the kitchen and still be as dumb as a door nail when it comes to other aspects of marriage.

The fact that you have a pretty face and a gorgeous figure to go with it, doesn’t mean you know how to be a good friend talk more of a good spouse. Beauty fades very quickly when other important aspects are missing.

Let’s say you’ve checked all the boxes on your list. You feel you’re so ready to get into the next phase called marriage. There is one box which happens to be the most important but still the most ignored. Probably because people believe it’s too much work. What am I talking about? I’m talking about your spiritual life. Your relationship with God. I don’t mean the dead relationship people claim to have with Jesus because they go to church every Sunday like they’re going to answer roll call. I mean a working, living relationship with Jesus. Like the type you have with someone you love, except deeper.

Do you know why I call this the most important box? because without it, you will be building your next phase on thin ice. A solid marriage can only be built on the one who created the institution in the first place, God!

So if you’re so done with being single, do you know how to cover your family Spiritually? This is especially important for you single men. You say you are ready to be the head of a home. You know being the head goes beyond being the breadwinner or getting the biggest portion of meat in the pot. The head is the leader, so if anything goes wrong in your home both spiritually and otherwise, guess who God’s gonna hold responsibleA finger pointing

 

Don’t be afraid to be honest with yourself

So before you put yourself under unnecessary pressure to get married. Before you start letting society dictate what happens in your life. Before the side glances of parents and other relations and friends get to you, read through this post and honestly ask yourself, “am I ready to get married?”

Don’t let anyone get into your head with the “are you not old enough to get married” talk. You’re only old enough to get married when you can be honest with yourself and you have checked all the IMPORTANT boxes. How long that takes, well that’s entirely up to you my dear.

Enjoy every bit of your single life because you can only be single once. Marriage is a beautiful thing, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise, but it’s only beautiful when it’s done right.

Till next week, Stay blessed!!